Two wings

One of the highlights of the past few days was our second youth gathering on Friday night. We chose the topic of the Equality of women and men, and there was a group 9 people. We attempted to keep the discussion focused of Baha'i quotations on the subject but it inevitably strayed very far, though not at all in the direction we excepted. We began by explaining that our basic belief of the topic was that men and women are like the 2 wings of one bird, the bird of humanity. In order for humanity to soar, both wings must be equally developed: men and women must work together and each one's roles, though they may be different, are equally important. Sadly, our society has come to value physical strength and force, creating a mostly paternalistic society, which views gentleness and moral courage, things more characteristic of women, as weaknesses. Our society has come to undervalue the role that mothers play, the role they possess as the first educator of the child. Maternity leave is not well paid and it is extremely difficult to return to one's job if you take too long a period off...the crucial period in the early life of a child when values and basic behavior is learned. A woman who chooses to stay home for the duration of her child's life is seen as making less of a contribution to society that a person who goes to the office every day. This is extremely sad and dangerous. The mother's choice to be present in her children's lives plays a strong part in the children's' education, but it also creates stronger family bonds. And since the family is the foundation of society, strong family bonds creates a more unified society.
I want to share a story that is very close to my heart on this topic: one of my best friends' mother received her teaching degree just before she had her first child. She chose to postpone teaching until her child was 5, but two years later her second child, my friend, was born, and then came a third child. This mother stayed at home, remaining very active in educational work but without a "job", until her first child graduated. She then began searching for a "real job" but could not find one because she had no formal work experience. This woman who had raised 3 of the most wonderful boys I know had no "work experience", even though for the past 18 years she had dealt with all the ups and downs of a child and an adolescent's life 24/7; and the organization and support of a household. I believe that a change is necessary and that the day will come when motherhood will be one of the most impressive things a woman can put on a resume; the day when the world will be proud of mothers, for they are raising the next generation, and each and every one of us owes out existence to a woman.
"The world of humanity has two wings - one is women and the other men. Not until both wings are equally developed can the bird fly. Should one wing remain weak, flight is impossible. Not until the world of women becomes equal to the world of men in the acquisition of virtues and perfections, can success and prosperity be attained as they ought to be." (Abdu'l-Baha, The Baha'i Faith)
It is important that both men and women become conscious of this, since we all have a role to play in the establishment of equality, and since it is so important to the advancement of civilization.
At our gathering, the issue of women working was not really raised since it is not quite part of the culture. However, our discussion branched off onto the pratice of polygamy, something quite common here, as well as domestic abuse. No conclusions were reached on these two points but some very interesting points were raised. The majority of boys in the group thought that it was ok to have several wives if you treated them fairly but stayed quite silent when we asked if this was truly possible. They aisle seemed quite confused as to how you make your wife obey you if you don't hit her. The girls who were at the evening unfortunately did not respond, and Denissa and I had to hold each other's hands to stop ourselves from blowing our heads off. We attempted to patiently explain that hitting doesn't get you anywhere and that treating your wife equally will get you much further. The girls simply nodded at this. We did however all firmly agree on the fact that both women and men have to work at it, neither can do it all. On that note, we folded paper cranes to represent humanity, ate some cookies and chilled (as we young people do)

Lesson Learned:
Different cultures see things in different ways, and we can learn a tremendous amount from each other. We cannot impose our expectations or beliefs on others. However, culture should not, and cannot, become a barrier to progress; negative aspects must be rooted out and an ultimate standard must be followed if we are to achieve unity and peace.